I originally wrote this post on loose leaf paper by nightlight with my cat laying at my feet.
Earlier this week I was shuffling through wordpress writing prompts trying to formulate my own writing. Fortunately wordpress has dozens of prompts for the writing block diseased blogger/writer.
“What if you were locked in a room with your greatest fear? What would it be and look like?”
That prompt is problematic for me already. I have several greatest fears. Arachnids for one. Having regrets is another fear. I thought my toughest/greatest fear (perhaps most relate-able) would be my own body wearing out at the peak of my life and career while my mind is still capable. My mind and soul would be trapped in essentially a locked cage. I have seen loved ones’ bodies go down the drain while their mind was still intact. It’s no way to live. (I must say, it must take a great deal of bravery to live in that way) To be alive but not to have a life to be engaged in? It was difficult to watch, I certainly wouldn’t want to live it.
Now, how would that fear present itself in a room with me? Hmm…For the longest time I pondered that question. How would it? I think the presentation of that fear would first show a T.V screen playing all of my life (and I locked in that same room watching) up to the point of my body wearing out. The next point of that fear would be an older version of myself with my worn down body sitting in the room with an expression of longing on my older face. I believe that watching that portrait play out in film clips and then seeing what happened to my body physically would be absolute terror locked in a room.
Perhaps having that fear of an incapable body with a sound mind wouldn’t present itself that way, who knows. But it’s one of my greatest fears. I wouldn’t want a life of being able to do nothing physically but being mentally fit.