To Share

There is so much I’ve wanted to share with you. Experiences of tiny and funny incidents that happen throughout my days. Sometimes I just want to know that there is a soft, wise and reassuring voice to quell my worries. Grandma, I miss you so much. I miss Grandpa too. I miss your encouraging voices, the stories of your youth in the nineteen-twenties, thirties and forties. One of the best stories you guys told was how you met each other. How you were supposed to go on a date with Grandpa’s brother instead. It still amazes me that you and Grandpa were married at the ages of twenty and twenty-one. And that you celebrated sixty-two years of marriage before you died, Grandma. How did you guys do that? Clearly you both loved each other very much.

Lately life has been rather difficult in my household and I just want to escape and go to your house. I remember those timeless Sundays my mom and I would spend at your house years ago. The coziness and slight dust smell of the house has never dulled in my memories. I just want to share the tough things in my life right now and have a listening ear (that isn’t my mother). In general, I just want to be able to talk to you and Grandpa and hear your voices again.

I’m beginning my first year of college next week and I wish I could phone and tell you about my first day. Remember when you called me after my first day of kindergarten? I didn’t realize how much it would mean at the time, but now it means everything to me. There are days I feel lost, but because you and Grandpa love me, I know I’ll be fine. Hopefully I’ve made you guys proud so far, I don’t want to disappoint you guys especially.

Someday I will see you all again, hopefully several decades from now. Throughout the past four and five years you and Grandpa have visited me and other family members in dreams, thank you. Sometimes I’ll smell your scent around me and I know it’s you. Ironically enough, I do believe in those things. If I talk to you guys, I’d like to believe that you can hear me. Some days I want to share everything with you and Grandpa. But remember, I always love you both.

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